Friday, December 30, 2005

revisiting the Europe trip, part 2

Just a few pics from the European jaunt (Feb.-Jun. 2004) to celebrate Friday and ring in the new year:

(It shouldn't be this fucking hard to put captions right under my pictures, but I'm screwing it up somehow, so here's a key at the top for the pictures below instead. I'll figure it out one of these days.)

1. Big model, awesome hair, mediocre camera.
2. Sometimes all these lights start blinking on the Tower. I'm serious.
3. Some Austrian chick I met by the tulips, ya?
4. Once again, at the Hotel Post. Weird, huh?
5. View from the hotel in Switzerland.
6. Me, in the Linz half-marathon. (40 pounds heavier now, I wonder how I pulled that off only a year and a half ago.)
7. Outside the Rome Airport, since those dirty wops kicked us out for the night.
8. JP 2, up close and personal. May he RIP.
9. Waiting for the Prague night tram with a bunch of foreigners.
10. Watching some big chess in Amsterdam.























Good times. Everyone have a good New Year's Eve and 2006. Be safe.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

if i could do it all over again

I usually catch myself saying that once every couple weeks. Not really in a serious sense, but I think of things that I really enjoy as hobbies and wonder if they would have been good as careers. The list, of those I can recall at this point:

Astronomer – This is of course due to my love of astronomy and stars and the like. I think what I enjoy about it is how unfathomable it all is, as far as distances and sizes go. We talk about light-years like they’re nothing, but one light year equals six trillion miles. If I calculated correctly, and I might not have, it would take over a million years to travel that far in one of our modern airplanes. I guess space shuttles are faster, and that’s what would be used, but you catch my drift. Anyway, astronomy is cool.

Pharmacist – I’m fascinated by pills and that side of medicine. I own a copy of the Pill Book. It’s a handy reference. It’s just cool that scientists came up with all these different chemicals to treat thousands of different illnesses and disorders. I also like organizing stuff, and pharmacies seem very neat and organized. And pharmacists seem like they have less required schooling and also less responsibility than a doctor. And the pay is doctor-like, though I don’t think it’s exactly equivalent.

Geographer – Or perhaps I’d enjoy being a cartographer. Not sure what exactly each job entails, but I do know I love maps. And atlases. I could spend a good hour just sitting and reading through a U.S. atlas. Call me odd; I know I am. But it’s fascinating to me. I figure, therefore, that an interest in maps and atlases would mean I would enjoy geography. I know it deals with statistics and things of that nature too. That’d be fine. I could crunch numbers.

Professional Baseball Player – It’s a bit more fantastic and unbelievable that the other ideas, but of all the pro sports to play in, I think I’d do baseball. It’s a pretty long season from spring training to optimally the World Series (February through October), but if it’s doing what you love, you dig? The travel would be hard at times, especially if you had a wife or family, but having millions of dollars is nice too. The simple fact is that there is no way anyone on earth deserves to make as much money as baseball players (or any sports figures) do, doing what they do. They are batting a ball around and catching it with gloves, for other people’s entertainment. Get off your high horses, assholes. Here’s your salary cap. I say the best player in the league gets $1,500,000 at the end of the year, based on performance. All 900 or so players that will appear in the majors that year are ranked accordingly. #2 player that year gets $1,000 less. And on down the line. So, for roundness’ sake, say there are 1,000 players who play in a year. The “worst” guy who plays, or performs the least, let’s say, gets $500,000. That would be the minimum salary in the league. So, in the end, the league minimum is raised, but the exorbitant salaries of these haughty bastards would be controlled too. I’m sure there are several flaws in my plan, and it would probably never work, but a basic scheme is there. It just needs tweaking.

I think in the end, we can all discover what our dream jobs would be by pretending we won the lottery. A big lottery. You would never have to work again, but say you end up working just to “keep busy.” What job would you take at that point? It would have to be based solely on enjoyment. There’s everyone’s answer. I’m still think about my answer. I would think it would be one of the above. But maybe it wouldn’t.

Have a happy 2006.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

horror movies, hate, and the holidays

All alliterations aside, I hadn’t written in a while. It’s probably not right that I’m writing an entry more because I feel an obligation than because I enjoy writing them, but here I am. I do enjoy writing them honestly; it’s either that I’m too busy or a bit too lazy. My goal is one entry a week, and I’ve done a moderately good job of that. It’s the damn Christmas shopping and preparation that takes up all my time,

I found out there’s a new horror film coming out soon called Hostel. If you’re into that sort of thing (I’m not), it looks good. Quentin Tarantino “presents” it, meaning he must have checked it out and giving it his seal of approval (meaning they’re allowed to use his name to attract major attention). Just from screen shots and movie posters, it looks extremely violent. It also has an intriguing plotline. We European travelers might enjoy the story. Roughly, it’s about three students backpacking through Europe and they come across this one guy in Slovakia who tells them all about this great hostel where all these hot chicks there are desperate to have sex with you. Think with your head, not with your dong—that’s what I always say. They don’t take my advice. Of course, it’s this horrible torture chamber of a hostel, and so on. Again, I won’t see it, but it looks like it could be a good horror movie for fans of the genre. http://www.hostelfilm.com/ and http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/film/684 are a couple of sites with some info on the movie.

One of the most hateful religious groups in the world, I’m safely assuming, is the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. The leader is Fred Phelps, one of the craziest old men ever to inhabit the earth. Its total membership is about 100 people and 90% of them are related to Phelps, if that tells you anything. Nonetheless, it’s an extreme Christian sect; I personally wouldn’t consider them Christian, though I guess technically they are. To be blunt, they’re a religion based on horrible racism and homophobia and hate for basically everyone but themselves. They have done so many awful things over the years, and I only write about them today because they are planning on picketing this Friday in St. Louis. They plan on protesting at a funeral for a soldier who died in Iraq. They justify this because they blame the military for not keeping our country and the world free of gays and lesbians (to use more proper terms than they do). It’s unreal how they think.

Other tactics include having their children as young as toddlers protest, while wearing t-shirts that say “God Hates Fags” and “Thank God for the Tsunami.” (They say thank God for every disaster and attack that has occurred, because they say it is God sending a message that the world is being destroyed and needs to change its ways. As of now, they believe only members of their Church will be accepted in to Heaven.) They also hate Swedes; I forgot why. It is the most unbelievable ideology I’ve ever seen. And it’s despicable. The last thing I should do is tell all ten people a day that visit my site about this horrible church and its backwards views, but it’s a sight (and site) to be seen. It’s a sight that’s a sober reminder of how much hate exists in the world, and that we probably don’t know the half of it. The amazing part is that they believe they are absolutely justified and correct.

On a lighter note, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday they celebrate. It should be a good time. Gretchen and I are heading to Wichita for X-mas weekend, and then to St. Louis for New Year's weekend (for an "X-mas" celebration there). A lot of travel, but a lot of fun still. Hope everyone travels safely and eats a lot of food.

(Sorry, my "link-making" tool in Blogger still isn't working, or I'm doing it wrong, so the links aren't clickable. I'll figure it out soon enough.)

Monday, December 12, 2005

good food, free booze

On Friday evening, Environmental Mechanical had their annual holiday party (I prefer Christmas party, but let us all be PC, just to be safe, right?). It took place at the Culinary Center of Kansas City. They do cooking classes and team building activities there, but they also host parties.

My attractive date and I both enjoyed the gathering. The food was delicious, with the menu consisting of butternut squash bisque, three flavors of risotto, some sort of Italian pasta and vegetable casserole (but it had a classier name than “casserole”), red snapper, and tiramisu for dessert. There were also three types of wine served with the meal. It was one of the fancier meals I’ve ever had. I’m not the best in classy social situations, but it wasn’t too bad. There was pleasant conversation had by all. The open bar was also tasty.
After the party, Gretchen and I went with Tim and his wife (Tim’s probably the next youngest guy in the office next to me; if I had to guess, he’s 26 or 27). We went to the Other Place (no, really, that’s the name of the bar. Get it? People can be so clever sometimes.) We had a few drinks and I OWNED Tim in trivia, even after all his trash talking. His hubris was his downfall.

Other than that, my time has been consumed with buying presents (X-mas, of course, but also Gretchen’s b-day, sister-in-law’s b-day, etc.). I can’t stand shopping either. I enjoy giving gifts, but the task of going to stores and buying all these things is absolutely horrendous. It’s a huge relief after all the shopping is done. (And, fortunately, Gretchen said she would do all the wrapping, since she doesn’t trust my shoddy, imprecise wrapping style. Works for me.)

Also, I made some exciting video rentals this weekend. I viewed Batman Begins on Saturday evening. I’m not usually a huge fan of these blockbuster movies (Batman, Spiderman, Lord of the Rings, etc.); you know, I’m not going out and seeing them in the theaters. Maybe they’re worth a rental. Maybe. But, I truly enjoyed Batman Begins. The two hour, twenty minute length made me weary when I first read it on the box, but it really flew by. That’s when movies can go bad, when they drag on and on. The action and storyline was good, Katie Holmes was good, and the movie was mostly believable in regards to the action scenes (the Batmobile jumping from rooftop to rooftop was a stretch, but they even made his ability to “fly” explainable. True, it was through the use of top-secret, ultra-expensive, never-used government equipment, but still, the effort was there).

And, on tap after watching some Arrested Development on FOX (good television show, check it out tonight at 7 PM central) is Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo! The much-anticipated (by me, at least) follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, I can't wait to dig into this epic. I love movies like this. Call it the ridiculous and inappropriate SNL-alum comedies. Refer to Dirty Work, Billy Madison, and Black Sheep for a few examples. European Gigolo got AWFUL reviews, but so did the original, so screw 'em. That doesn't mean anything. These uppity movie reviewers are just trying to polish their reputation. It's pandering and it's bullshit. I'll be sure to let you know how the film turns out.

[Edit, for movie review: Goodness gracious, I couldn't get through it. I had been looking forward to Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. It was horrendous. It was exponentially stupider than the average "stupid" comedy. It was disgusting. The physical deformity jokes were unnecessary (and plentiful). The two plusses were that the movie took place in Amsterdam (a place I've been to and one of my favorite European cities) and Deuce's "love interest" (I assume they get together, but again, I didn't make it through the movie), played by a little-known Belgian model/actress, Hanna Verboom. Quite attractive. But for the love of God, that was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I was embarrassed to watch it in front of people I am quite comfortable with. That's the real test. If it's so bad, it makes me uncomfortable to watch it with anyone else, it's BAD. And it was especially disappointing because the first Deuce Bigalow was quite enjoyable. Oh well, live and learn.]

To conclude, I offer you some palindromes to brighten your day.

Campus motto: bottoms up, Mac!
I saw desserts; I’d no lemons, alas no melon. Distressed was I.
Kay, a red nude, peeped under a yak.
Lew, Otto has a hot towel!
Was it Eliot’s toilet I saw?